[darecrow]

Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”

[redpandarascal]

All I want to do is hold her

[woolandflax]

My buddy lives in China so when the sun is setting for him, it’s rising for me. So, naturally, I sent him this

[simply-ask-games]

reblog if you want your followers to tell you something that reminds them of you, anonymously or not!

[catgirltoes]

"Butch women being treated poorly is evidence of anti masculinity" that is literally misogyny. It's just misogyny. Women being hated for being masculine is part and parcel of the misogynistic systems of domination that keep women oppressed.

[nonebinary-leftbeef]

DEVASTATING the lyric you've been mishearing is better than the real one

What abusers believe.

[missmentelle]

If you’ve ever had to deal with an abusive person in your life - like an abusive parent or partner - you’ve probably wondered what made them treat you that way. If you understand why abuse is happening, the thinking goes, you might be able to figure out how to make it stop. 

So why do abusers do what they do? Do they have anger issues? Drinking problems? Past trauma? Personality disorders? Do they just need to get in touch with their feelings and learn how to communicate better?

Nope. 

Abusive behaviours come from abusive beliefs. Abusers - whether consciously or unconsciously - hold specific beliefs about relationships that drive their behaviour and allow them to justify the horrible things they do. Even if your abuser has never put their beliefs into words, you’ll probably recognize a lot of these abusive beliefs:

• You are responsible for my emotions. It is never my responsibility to reflect on my emotional reactions or learn better coping skills - it’s your responsibility to stop doing things that make me angry or upset.
• I must act on my emotions. If I am angry, I am going to lash out. You have no right to criticize me for that, and it’s not my responsibility to learn to manage my  emotions - you have to stop making me lash out at you. Asking me not to act on my emotions is controlling and wrong.
• You will always be responsible for my emotions. Even if the relationship ends, you will continue to be responsible for my emotions, and I will expect you to continue to prioritize my feelings.
• If I have feelings about something, it’s my business. If something you do or think causes an emotional reaction in me, then I have a right to get involved or tell you what to do. My feelings must be the priority. You don’t have the right to tell me that it’s none of my business. 
• You must judge me on my intentions, not my actions. If I didn’t mean to hurt you or scare you, then you don’t have the right to be hurt or scared. No one has the right to try to hold me accountable unless I meant to hurt someone.
• I get to decide what your intentions were. If you hurt me, you meant to hurt me. If you make me jealous, you meant to make me jealous. Nothing you do is ever accidental or unintended - everything you do is intentional and malicious, even if it was a response to something I did.
• My feelings are genuine; your feelings are manipulation. If I’m upset, my feelings are real and important. If you are upset, you have an ulterior motive - you’re just trying to be manipulative and get attention or sympathy for yourself.
• You have freedoms because I allow you to. Every freedom you have in your life - like wearing what you want - it’s because I generously allow it. I expect you to be grateful to me for that. I have the right to take those freedoms away whenever I want, and I expect you to obey.
• If you set boundaries with me, you are mistreating me. If you really loved me, you wouldn’t set boundaries with me. You are doing this to intentionally hurt me, which means I don’t have to respect those boundaries.
• You holding me accountable for hurting you is worse than me hurting you. My pain at being called out is worse than your pain at being mistreated. If I feel bad about something I did, I have already been punished enough. You trying to discuss the issue or hold me accountable is just your way of abusing me.
• If I apologized for something, you have to forgive me. If the relationship has ended, you have to reconcile with me. You don’t get to ask for more time apart or more discussion of the issue - once I’ve apologized, the matter is closed for good.
• The relationship is not over until I say it is over. So long as I want a relationship with you, you must have a relationship with me. Your feelings are irrelevant. Even if we have broken up, you must remain available to me so we can get back together in the future. Not wanting a relationship with me means you are mistreating me or being immature. 
• I am the authority in this relationship. I am smarter and more perceptive than you. I know what is best for both of us. My version of events is always the correct one. I have superior judgement, taste and opinions. If you question me or disagree with me after I’ve given you the correct answer, you are disrespecting and mistreating me, or you are simply immature and incapable of knowing what’s good for you.
• I have the right to control you. It is my absolute right to decide what you do and who you associate with. You have no right to disobey me. I am owed obedience and control; if you don’t give me those things, you are wronging me and cheating me out of the relationship I deserve. 
• If you resist my control, I am allowed to do whatever I think is necessary to get it back. Once you’ve resisted me, I am justified in whatever I do to regain control of you. I am not responsible for my actions when you resist my control; you forced me to do it, and it’s your own fault. 
• I should be your main focus. Everything else in your life comes secondary to me. When you make decisions, my feelings should be your first consideration. You are expected to make sacrifices for me and put me at the center of your life; I am not obligated to do the same for you. 
• If I spend money on you or do something for you, you are in debt to me. You spending money on me or doing things for me does not erase your debt to me, and I am never in debt to you. You are indebted to me for as long as I decide. I may decide that your belongings and earnings also belong to me, since I allow you to have them. I may also decide at any time that you owe me for gifts I gave you, even if they were meant to be gifts.
• I am not abusive, and you are not allowed to tell me otherwise. I know what abuse is, and real abusers are significantly worse than me. If our relationship has ever had any good times or positive moments, it can’t possibly be abusive. If you accuse me of being abusive, you are the one abusing me, or you have been led astray by bad influences. 
• Relationships should be effortless (for me). I am owed a relationship that is peaceful and requires no real effort from me. It is your job to make sure we have that kind of relationship. If there is any tension or conflict in the relationship, it is your fault, and you are depriving me of the relationship I deserve to have. 

Abusers and victims alike often buy into the narrative that abuse is rooted in anger issues - after all, abusers are frequently angry, and anger is an issue that can be treated. But this narrative just isn’t true. Abusers aren’t abusive because they are angry. Abusers are angry because they are abusive. 

A non-abusive partner is not someone who has learned how to control their rage whenever you spend time with your friends or get home 15 minutes late from work. A non-abusive partner just doesn’t feel any rage in those situations. An abuser’s rage is firmly rooted in their beliefs about relationships - they feel entitled to a relationship that meets their impossible expectations, and when they inevitably don’t get it, they bubble over with fury. Whether they know it or not, they have firmly entrenched beliefs about how relationships should be, and those beliefs are at the heart of their abuse. 

Can abusers stop believing these things? Maybe. If they can acknowledge that they have these beliefs, accept that these beliefs are dangerous and unreasonable and let go of these beliefs, maybe it’s possible for them to no longer be abusive in the future. Maybe. But it’s not your job to hang around and find out. If you’re in an abusive relationship of any kind, you deserve better. There are many people in this world who don’t hold abusive views of relationships, and you deserve to find happiness with them. 

[whatbigotspost]

I reblogged this before w/o adding any comments because it is just so good. But in the back of my mind I had wanted to highlight that if you, like me, were raised by an emotional abuser, you were probably taught a lot of these things are “normal.” They’re not.

That’s not your fault that happened. God, I really wish it never happened, alas being taught this stuff is sooooo commonplace. But, it very much our responsibilities as adults now to unlearn the toxic narratives that we did not consent to inheriting.

We can do it, too.

Read the list again. Read it any time you need it. The steer away from these beliefs. This stuff isn’t just about romantic relationships. We can be so much better than where we came from. I promise. ❤️❤️

[depsidase]

[burrowingdweller]

I rarely draw and post original stuff but I still think it's pretty

i thought pokemon go fest (global) was today but apparently that’s next weekend… today is pokemon go fest (new york city) and i’m completely bummed out…. i’ve been looking forward to the go fest for at least like.. six months now

good news is that i got next weekend off as well so suppose it’s not all bad

[teaboot]

Y'all don't know what rural love looks like. Y'all don't know. We got 6'2" burly fellas rolling in from the logging camps like "yeah I'm looking for a packer for my boyfriend". We got welders coming in after work and you gotta ask em to scrape off their boots at the door and their hands are black with gunk so we gotta help em sift through the strap ons. Three ladies come in wearing floral dresses with their hair in rings like they just got out of church and you ain't sure if they're together or just friends but when they leave they're all holding hands and one gives another a kiss. Old fella with a walker comes in for some lacy lingerie. 85 year old widow is going on a first date since her husband passed. People are people all over the place, it's not different when you can't see it

[bitchylittlevictorianchild]

Nah, because one time I, a girl from Texas (the great green yeehaw) listened to a girl I can only describe as Western Gothic describe to me in detail how she pegged her boyfriend. Who is on the baseball team, has a mullet and a country accent, and is about 6 inches taller than she is. And then he picked her up after school, happy as could be in his Ford pickup! Literally, she brightened. And so did he. It was adorable.

Rural love is amazing in its eclectic nature.

[valexombie123]

I'm not good at making comics

[deluxetrashqueen]

Larian studios: "Haha yeah isn't it funny that you can sleep with a druid in bear form? That's so--Look at me, look me in the eyes. there is no such thing as an "evil race". the players handbook is full of shit. personality traits based on race and species are bullshit. Every individual has the capacity for good an evil based on circumstances"

*wizards of the coast security tries to drag them off stage*

Larian, clinging to the microphone: "DRAGONBORN HAVE TAILS! TIEFLINGS CAN BE PURPLE! QUEER CHARACTERS HAVE EVERY PLACE IN FANTASY MEDIA! YOU CAN AND SHOULD ROMANCE MIND FLAYERS NO! NO! LOOK AT ME! DRINKING POTIONS IS A BONUS ACTION! DON'T BELIEVE THEIR LIES!"

[wayneradiotv]

this video is so dangerous why did he put this in the public’s hands. killers can watch it after every kill and be able to get into the kingdom of heaven and then keep killing in heaven all they want

[cryptotheism]

That noise is him taking a screenshot of your soul

[birthdaysongs]

i think a lot of the magic of this shithole website actually comes from the fact that the search feature is completely useless… like the fact that you quite literally cannot search for a post even if you type it in word for word means that all the classic, beloved, and infamous posts are these ephemeral things that only come around every so often and can only be found organically when they happen to make it to your dash like a flock of rare migratory birds

[jdididydog]

*types exact wording of a post*

search function: